All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
