but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
