3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
