I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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