For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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