Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
