Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize