just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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