I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
