Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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