plz talk dirty to me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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