i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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