the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
