we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
