I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
