Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
