i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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