Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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