Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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