Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
