I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
