4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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