You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
