My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize