She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
