as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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