my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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