here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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