Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think pants incapable of making pants work
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize