I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
