i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
