Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
