i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize