Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
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holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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