"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
