is your mom at the bar?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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