they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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