THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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