allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
