My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
