Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
