We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
