Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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