okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize