She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
