My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
