we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
