I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
NoShamevember. You game?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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