Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
