i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Randomize
