I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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