so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
