You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
