Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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