you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
