i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
