Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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