Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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