Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
