Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
