she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize