The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
