that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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