I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
