Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I faked an abortion last night.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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