I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
